Bad Cook Recipes

Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe For Zombie Killers

2008-03-18T01:43:00.001-07:00

With the threat of zombies growing more eminent by the day, it has become clear that it is time we prepared for the inevitable onslaught of the undead. When the zombie invasion comes, things are going to be tough. Some of us will become hunters, brave souls who go out and confront the zombie hordes, and others of us are going to have to stay home and make them snacks.

Learn how!

Stealth Tuna Salad For The Secret Agent On The Go

2008-03-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

Psssst. Are you a secret agent in need of food? You've come to the right place, friend. Sometimes when in the middle of a stealthy mission, you need to get yourself some nourishment. The kitchen may only be a few steps away, but time is of the essence. You need something that is going to be quick to prepare, nutritious, and most of all, light on the stomach, so that if you suddenly need to leap out of the window and shimmy down the drainpipe to freedom, you're good to go.

Get the secret formula here!

How To Make A Flying Spaghetti Monster Meal

2008-03-07T22:22:00.000-08:00

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is an ultimate deity, a kind deity, the ultimate deity among ultimate deities. The word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has spread across the globe at the speed of truth, enlightening citizens the world over.

As further evidence that the FSM is the greatest deity of all time, not only can the FSM be worshiped, but eaten. Sure, Christians have the body and blood of Christ, but most of the time that adds up to a sip from a diseased chalice and a tasteless wafer. When you consume the body of the Flying Spaghetti monster, you will be totally nourished in both body and spirit.

Want to become one with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Here's a recipe that will enable you to do just like that. It takes under an hour, and tastes way better than meditation.

Get the recipe...

Judaeo-Christian Omelettes You Can Really Eat

2008-03-07T02:22:00.000-08:00

Lo! Thou has come unto this page because thou seekest the hidden knowledge associated with the making of the omelette. Make thyself comfortable seeker, for in due course, all shall be revealed unto thee.

First, in preparation for making the omelette, thou must come to terms with the breaking of the eggs, for it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for an omelette to be made from unbroken eggs.

Readeth on...

Cheap and Easy Beer Casserole

2008-03-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Now you can combine two of your favorite passions, alcoholism, and eating!

(I say that as if the idea of adding beer or wine to food is a new one, it's not, but there's a decent chance that to someone, somewhere, it is a new idea, and I want them to be excited too, okay? This could potentially make up for that entire Santa Claus debacle.)

You've read the offensive statement, now get the recipe!

Support The Troops: How To Make Tea In The Field VIDEO GUIDE

2008-03-03T18:33:00.000-08:00

This bad cook recipes video focuses on two important things, supporting the troops, and making a good cup of tea.

Find out!

Cucumber Sandwich Video Guide

2008-03-02T19:46:00.000-08:00

Cooking is hard enough when you have to read the recipe and do what it says, so for this one I've also created a video guide.

Cucumber Sandwiches are ever so classy, and if your cupboard is bare apart from some bread, a cucumber, and some tea, then you can still put together a very classy little snack together for guests who will be suitably awed by your evident class and style. This can be a little harder to pull off if you are sitting on crates in your living room, but I find that a fancy hat generally dispels any notion that you are not British Aristocracy.

Read and watch!

Toast Trivia AND Advanced Toast Recipes For Beginner Toasters

2008-03-01T02:33:00.000-08:00

When you're a completely lazy cook who can barely be bothered dragging themselves to the cupboards to find something to eat, toast can become a staple, nay, a savior of life.

This article contains information about toast related miracles, a piece of toast that sold for $28,000, and ways that you, yes YOU can make ADVANCED toast.

Are you as excited as I am?

Cheap Easy Food Recipes For People Who Don't Cook: A Salmon (Or Tuna, Or Chicken, Or Ham) Pasta Dish

2008-03-01T01:11:00.000-08:00

If you're single and culinarily challenged, then cooking becomes rather a chore. The pangs of hunger generally have one running for chips, candy, or if you're feeling like being healthy, something microwaved from the freezer. Sometimes it seems that getting hungry is just a distraction from surfing for Internet titillation, or making that laundry tower you've been working on for some time now.

This Salmon (Or Tuna, Or Chicken, Or Ham) Pasta Dish is just the ticket when you need to nourish your body, and having another fast food meal may just push your arteries over the edge and into a coronary.

Let's Get (Kind Of) Cooking!