With the threat of zombies growing more eminent by the day, it has become clear that it is time we prepared for the inevitable onslaught of the undead. When the zombie invasion comes, things are going to be tough. Some of us will become hunters, brave souls who go out and confront the zombie hordes, and others of us are going to have to stay home and make them snacks.

Learn how!

Psssst. Are you a secret agent in need of food? You've come to the right place, friend. Sometimes when in the middle of a stealthy mission, you need to get yourself some nourishment. The kitchen may only be a few steps away, but time is of the essence. You need something that is going to be quick to prepare, nutritious, and most of all, light on the stomach, so that if you suddenly need to leap out of the window and shimmy down the drainpipe to freedom, you're good to go.

Get the secret formula here!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is an ultimate deity, a kind deity, the ultimate deity among ultimate deities. The word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has spread across the globe at the speed of truth, enlightening citizens the world over.

As further evidence that the FSM is the greatest deity of all time, not only can the FSM be worshiped, but eaten. Sure, Christians have the body and blood of Christ, but most of the time that adds up to a sip from a diseased chalice and a tasteless wafer. When you consume the body of the Flying Spaghetti monster, you will be totally nourished in both body and spirit.

Want to become one with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Here's a recipe that will enable you to do just like that. It takes under an hour, and tastes way better than meditation.

Get the recipe...

Lo! Thou has come unto this page because thou seekest the hidden knowledge associated with the making of the omelette. Make thyself comfortable seeker, for in due course, all shall be revealed unto thee.

First, in preparation for making the omelette, thou must come to terms with the breaking of the eggs, for it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for an omelette to be made from unbroken eggs.

Readeth on...

Now you can combine two of your favorite passions, alcoholism, and eating!

(I say that as if the idea of adding beer or wine to food is a new one, it's not, but there's a decent chance that to someone, somewhere, it is a new idea, and I want them to be excited too, okay? This could potentially make up for that entire Santa Claus debacle.)

You've read the offensive statement, now get the recipe!

This bad cook recipes video focuses on two important things, supporting the troops, and making a good cup of tea.

Find out!

Cooking is hard enough when you have to read the recipe and do what it says, so for this one I've also created a video guide.

Cucumber Sandwiches are ever so classy, and if your cupboard is bare apart from some bread, a cucumber, and some tea, then you can still put together a very classy little snack together for guests who will be suitably awed by your evident class and style. This can be a little harder to pull off if you are sitting on crates in your living room, but I find that a fancy hat generally dispels any notion that you are not British Aristocracy.

Read and watch!