Psssst. Are you a secret agent in need of food? You've come to the right place, friend. Sometimes when in the middle of a stealthy mission, you need to get yourself some nourishment. The kitchen may only be a few steps away, but time is of the essence. You need something that is going to be quick to prepare, nutritious, and most of all, light on the stomach, so that if you suddenly need to leap out of the window and shimmy down the drainpipe to freedom, you're good to go.
Get the secret formula here!
Lo! Thou has come unto this page because thou seekest the hidden knowledge associated with the making of the omelette. Make thyself comfortable seeker, for in due course, all shall be revealed unto thee.
First, in preparation for making the omelette, thou must come to terms with the breaking of the eggs, for it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for an omelette to be made from unbroken eggs.
Readeth on...
Now you can combine two of your favorite passions, alcoholism, and eating!
(I say that as if the idea of adding beer or wine to food is a new one, it's not, but there's a decent chance that to someone, somewhere, it is a new idea, and I want them to be excited too, okay? This could potentially make up for that entire Santa Claus debacle.)
You've read the offensive statement, now get the recipe!